Moment by Moment
I love sharing my client’s stories through portraits and interviews. This portrait session was photographed over a year ago but due to some technical glitches, I am just now sharing her story.
Spring had a very touching story to tell that I feel can help many mom’s who have either lost a child or who struggle with a special needs child. These families often feel they are in a world all their own. It was an honor to meet Spring and her husband Sam and I hope her story helps others who are struggling in similar situations. For everyone else, reading about Isaac will not only put a smile on your face and erase your bad day but hopefully it will encourage all of us to be more like him.
Thank you Spring for taking part in the 40over40 project and sharing your story! Here are a few snippets from her interview.
What made you get pictures done?
I think to go back and look at the people we have been, the kid, the teenager, all the angst, the young woman. But I think it’s important, it’s really important to be a witness to who we are now, and to see who we are becoming, to see that person and you know maybe get to like that person too.
How do you think the definition of beauty has changed over the years?
I hope and I pray for the sake of my daughters and for the sake of all of our daughters… and our young men too, that they’ll find that beauty isn’t what kind of makeup you have or what you’re wearing, I mean you have to have a conversation with this person at some point. But it’s the kind heartedness, it’s the beauty that you carry in yourself, love, grace, and who you really are, education, the whole nine.
What would you tell your 20-year-old self?
As I was getting ready for this photoshoot, I looked through my old pictures, and I remembered as I was going through the pictures, at each of those times as a kid, as a teenager, as a young adult, that I wanted to go back and fix something or maybe I didn’t look a certain way that I wanted to. I would at the time that those pictures were taken I found every flaw. I can still do that now, but we waste so much time looking at the flaws, that sometimes we don’t pay enough attention to the beauty and the fun and the adventure of it all. So, I would tell my 20-year-old self-it’s good. Whatever the case arising and moment by moment it’ll be ok, and don’t worry about the imperfections they just make everything else more beautiful.
What motivates you to get up in the morning?
Sometimes it’s really difficult to get up in the morning. My oldest son, Isaac, died last year. He had a whole lot of autism but he also had epilepsy. He had his last seizure July 2020 and somedays it’s really difficult to get up in the morning but other people are counting on you. You still have to take that next breath and it’s moment by moment, not minute by minute because that’s too long sometimes. It’s moment by moment. So let’s get through this moment, good job! Now we’re going to get through the next moment. This photoshoot is something about trying to learn who I am now, what do I do now, to see all of the reasons to get up in the morning.
How have your values changed over time?
I think that the hardest times for a woman is the first year of marriage, or partnership and the first year of your baby’s life. I think those two are the hardest and I think that they are related. Because at that point you’re learning and it’s a human thing, it’s not a selfish it’s not anything else. But it’s not about me, I’m sharing my life. When you are in that first year married I have to think about this other person in every last detail. But the other person is thinking about me too. We kind of do the world selfish. We do, and that’s ok, it’s human. But as we get older, I think we just learn and learn that we are part of the whole, and we really need to just have as much compassion, and grace, and love for each other as we can. So, I think that’s really how my values have changed, and it’s still a work in progress. I’m still selfish. Absolutely! Still human but as we get older just to learn that the community and the others around us are more important than we are just as one little individual. It’s really about all of us getting through as much grace and love as we can.
Tell me about your First Day holiday?
Isaac loved the holidays, each and every one he would celebrate everything from Christmas to Rash Hashanah, we’re not Jewish but it didn’t matter, to Arbor Day, to any little day on the calendar. But the problem is of course there are never enough holidays. He had a point, there’s not. So he invented a holiday and we went with it. Imagine New Year’s Day but 12 times a year. So it was First Day, and First Day is celebrated the first day of every month. Of course, for Isaac that meant he got a gift because duh! But we expanded it a little bit to make it a holiday that we can all celebrate, and it’s a really good thing because it lives on after he’s not living anymore. We do three things because he loved to count to three. It was one, two, three, one, two, three everything. Number one is a day to give the gift of kindness to someone around you. Make it intentional. Random acts of kindness are great but intentional acts of kindness are even better. The second is to say thanks. Find someone that doesn’t get thanked or recognized a lot, find someone who’s not having the best day and thank them genuinely for what they’re doing. If you look, we are all doing so very much for each other. Number 3 was encourage, but encourage is a big word and sometimes it’s hard to figure out exactly what that means, and so we said, spread love. So, it’s one, two, three. It’s be kind, say thanks, and spread love. Spreading love is a little different than just being kind. Spreading love is the encouragement factor. It’s looking at somebody else, and when we had Isaac to talk about it I would translate it for him to tell people around you, you can do it. You’ve got this and I’m here to help.
What is your favorite quote or scripture?
There is a scripture in John 16:33. Jesus is talking to his disciples, and honestly this is one of the reasons I’m a Christian because Jesus is straight up with you and He says “In this world you will have trouble.” So, it’s not a might, its not a maybe, it’s not if you’ve added up enough God points, it’s not if you’re good enough. No, “you will have trouble, but take heart I’ve overcome the world.” So again, it’s straight up and it tells me it’s that concept and the grace concept, the concept that I'm never going to be good enough, but I can look at Jesus and He said I could come and be that way and that’s a good thing. Again, it’s that moment by moment, because minute by minute, sometimes second by second is just too long, but moment by moment and we can do this.
Spring and Sam Slagle keep their son’s memory alive through I CAN 4 ISAAC. Isaac loved listening to stories and story time was always his favorite. They have created a little library located at Leo’s Landing in Saluda Shoals Park. The library is in the shape of an owl where kids can find books to read. Spring and Sam are able to give out over 200 books per month through ICAN4ISAAC. For more information, please visit them on facebook at
https://www.facebook.com/ican4isaac. Or visit http://ican4isaac.com.
Be sure to click on the videos and hear Spring in her own words. Hair and makeup by @beautybylizyturria. For more information on the 40 over 40 portraits, please visit www.brandiblake.com/40over40.
